We’re doing business together.

I don’t know if it’s sort of good or bad thing. I keep thinking, if our relationship were put into a crisis, would it affect the business as well? LOL. But so far, everything goes smoothly. Both of us seem pretty cold-headed when discussing than what we used to be. What an advancement.

In the past two days (since it’s past midnight already), we got two approvals. I feel great. So does him. Hope everything will turn out as planned.

.

Much love and excitement,

S

Kau tahu perasaan merawat sesuatu dari nol sampai tumbuh besar?

Tiap hari, kau simak gerak-geriknya. Apa yang kurang, apa yang harus dilakukan, apa yang belum saatnya…

Semua agar ia berkembang sempurna.

Entah ‘ia’ adalah tetumbuhan, vertebrata, atau gagasan semata; rasanya tetap sama.

Segelintir respon adalah tenaga, segelintir penolakan adalah cobaan.

Kau terus khawatir, pun berharap.

Yakinlah, pada saatnya nanti: haru, bangga, bahagia

Akan beradu dan membuncah di dalam dada.

.

*catatan sekelompok manusia yang tengah sibuk berdoa dan mencoba

Resah mendera semalaman

Esoknya, mengendap-endap

Menggenggam tiga ribu rupiah

Menjalar: teruntai segaris merah

Pias berganti rona. Seketika lega.

…we name it love.

“Hari gini ngomongin cinta? Tsah.”

“Makan tuh cinta!”

“You’re too naive. Go on dreaming.”

Despite the mockings, don’t we all need to love and to be loved?

One day, I went to a mall and had a lunch at the foodcourt. Everything seemed ordinary: female student groups with their high-pitch laughter, sleepy coworkers, people who ate in a hurry, etc. As my meal came, a couple entered the foodcourt.

They were about sixty something years old, I guessed. This grandpa and grandma (let’s just call them like that) looked like they were discussing what to eat. Grandpa pointed out a food banner, but grandma didn’t agree. After a few seconds, they decided to walk around the foodcourt to find the best deal. And they were holding hand. Tightly. *aww*

Last week, I saw similar object in the street. A car approached a bank’s security guard. The front passenger lowered the car window. Waa, it was another grandpa-grandma couple. They asked direction to the security guard. I tried to look into the back seat, are they carrying their grandchildren? The answer is, they did not. A silly question popped in my mind: are they dating? Hahaha.

Even though they just appeared for a while in my life, I felt so touched. They looked at each other in such a happy face, whereas probably they have been together for sooooo long and already knew each other’s best-worst sides very well. I mean, I know some married couple who don’t even communicate with each other except for asking something like, “Where’s the car key?”. Or, some married couple who no longer enjoy each other’s presence that they would rather sleep in different rooms, let alone cuddle or go on a date. Clearly, marriage =/= love.

(image from The Notebook movie)

Coincidentally, I was with Cookie when seeing those two couples. Looking at him, which was also focusing on the same object, I can’t help asking myself questions, when we reach that age, will we still call each other with stupid nicknames? Will we still be able to look at each other’s eyes and find the same reason just like when we decided to be together in 2008? Will do nothing with you still feel like everything to me, and vice versa?

As Cookie turned his head and looked at me, I knew he had the same questions wandering in his mind.

I really hope we will.

I think, the best present a lover can give is to grow old together. Because of both parties’ willingness, not compulsion.